


Talk Fast

by jetstreamburningup



Series: Self Indulgent One Shot Collection [2]
Category: One Direction
Genre: American AU, Anal Sex, Angst, F/M, Gross OC that I don’t even want to visualize, High School AU, Like one mention, M/M, Minor Character Death, Riding, Smoking, Underage Drinking, bottom! Louis, i picture this taking place In Washington but it’s nevertheless mentioned, mentions of elounor - Freeform, top! Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 01:56:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15450852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jetstreamburningup/pseuds/jetstreamburningup
Summary: A lot can happen in 3 months...But I don’t know if I want Harry Styles involved in those 3 months.





	Talk Fast

**Author's Note:**

> The ending is kind of rushed but that because I didn’t know how to end it with out it becoming a full blown fic. I had a lot of ideas on where this could go but none of them felt as right as this ending did.

For as long as I could remember my mom taught me everything she absolutely could. She taught me things like how to ride a bike, how to be a dependable brother for my younger sisters, and most of all how to learn to love myself. A few weeks before my 18th birthday I had to teach my self the most important thing; how to live without her. I wake up everyday feeling like there's a hole inside of my chest, almost as if my heart was literally torn out. 

The funeral was just filled with people I didn't even know approaching me and my family, giving us their pity, telling us they understood how it feels to loose someone important to them. That it's going to be okay. 

It won't be, but that doesn't mean I can't fake it. 

\---

Dan pulled over a few blocks away from my school, giving me a solemn look. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked, putting his hand on my shoulder. "I'm sure everyone has heard about it... and it's the first day after break so everything is still—"

"It's fine Dan," I sighed, grabbing my bag and opening the car door. "I just don't get why I couldn't drive myself."

"Just wanted to make sure you got to school."

I rolled my eyes as I got out and slammed the door shut. I gave my step-dad a quick wave before walking off in the direction of campus. The pointing and whispering started the second I walked past the gate, heading for my locker before meeting up with Eleanor and Niall at our bench.

"Hey Tommo!" Niall said from where he was leaning against my locker, Eleanor standing to the side. "How was your break?" I quirked my brow up at the two of them, silently wondering why they were waiting for me here. 

"Niall!" Eleanor snapped at him, eyes going wide at what he said. 

"Did he or did he not say he wanted to be treated like normal?"

"That's still not an appropriate question to ask!"

"Just because his mom is fucking dead—"

"Enough you two!" I interrupted, shoving between them to get to my locker. "I swear you guys are acting like I can't handle reality. I get it, she's dead, but that doesn't mean I should act like I am."

"Well I just figured—"

"El. Save it."

I could feel both of them staring at me, and that alone informed me that this was going to be one long ass day. 

We were heading for our bench, and I groaned when I saw who currently occupied it. 

Acting like I wasn't mourning over my mom's death is one thing, having to deal with Harry Styles and his little posse is another thing. 

All dark and brooding, taking up the entire length of the bench as he sat reading his book was Harry himself. Standing next to him was Liam Payne and Zayn Malik; even though Liam spends most of his time with Zayn and Harry, he is actually a really great guy and I could consider him a close friend of mine. Propped up on top of the back-rest was Luke Hemmings, his arms casually thrown around Calum Hood and Ashton Irwin. This wasn't everyone, but I knew that if we didn't do something soon they would all come and take over our spot. 

As we got closer Ashton spotted us, and nudged Harry with his foot. The curly haired "bad boy" looked up and made direct eye contact with me. With a mischievous smirk, he closed his book and slowly got off of the bench before walking over to me. 

"Heard about what happened," he said once we were toe to toe. 

"You and everybody else," I replied, crossing my arms over my chest. "You know that's our bench, right?"

"Me and everybody else." The smirk was back and it took everything in me to refrain from punching it off. Instead I just quirked an eyebrow up at his teasing tone. He pat me on the chest with his book, before gesturing to his friends for them to leave. As soon as they were out of hearing distance I let out a long groan, sitting down and covering my face with my hands. 

"Who the fuck does he think he is!?" I yelled out, sensing my friends sitting next to me. 

"Harry Styles," Niall joked and I couldn't help but punch him in the arm for that response. 

\---

The start of the new semester also means a new class schedule; which after looking at it I knew that the counselors were trying to go easy on me. And it wasn't because I had one of the top 5 highest GPAs— right behind Eleanor who was number 1— no no, it was because I needed a break to fully grieve over the loss of my mom. What a fucking joke. 

Who the actual fuck gets a free period before and after lunch? Kids who mom's died over winter break that's who. 

I walked into my first class of the day, trying not to roll my eyes as everyone got quiet and stared at me. Even my teacher was giving me a look that was just overflowing with pity. I took a seat in the back row, throwing my backpack on my desk and pulled out my phone to distract myself from everyone.

"Hey," Liam said as he sat next to me. I didn't have to look up to know that it was him since we had this class together last semester. 

"Hey," I replied, still giving my phone my undivided attention. 

"I don't really know what happened this morning... but we do care about you; all of us, especially Harry."

I snorted at that, letting Liam know how that piece of information sits with me. "He sure has a funny way of showing it."

"Trust me; he cares."

I rolled my eyes, putting my head down on my desk and hoping that he would just get the memo already.

\---

By the time 4th period came around I was getting pretty fed up with all of the stares, whispers, and pity. Taking advantage of my first free period of the day I chose to roam around the halls, not exactly wanting to be in one place for too long. I decided to explore the part of campus that I have never been to. 

I started on the ground floor, noticing that these were the art classrooms. I was about to turn the corner and walk up the stairs to where I'm pretty sure were just regular classes, when I noticed Harry Styles, sketching away on his easel. I couldn't exactly tell you what he was working on, but it captivated me. As if he could sense me watching him he stepped to the side, giving me a better look, not that it helped me understand what it was. 

"What do you think?" he said suddenly, turning around to face me. 

"I think it's a mess."

"A beautiful mess; just like it's inspiration."

—-

Niall and Eleanor were waiting for me at our bench for lunch, and once again we were joined by some unwanted guests. 

"We tried getting them to leave," El explained, referencing Luke and Calum who were standing to the side obviously waiting for me. 

"It's fine," I sighed, smiling in greeting to the two. "Just as long as Harry doesn't show up."

"Too late."

An arm was draped across my shoulders, a worn out paperback book in my line of sight. Harry. Of course. "Why are you suddenly taking an interest in me," I sighed, looking over at him. 

"Who said anything about it being sudden," he replied, not taking his eyes off of his book. "Anyways Michael— Clifford— is throwing a party this weekend. Friday. You guys are invited. Liam will text you the details."

"Thanks for the invite," Eleanor replied, sitting down on the bench and pulling out her lunch, "but I don't think we're going to go. We're not exactly party people."

"Speak for yourself," Niall chuckled as he joined her. "Will there be drinks?"

"All taken care of," Calum responded with a slight smirk on his face.

"Hell yeah! I'm in; Tommo you're in too."

"I guess it'll be fun to let loose for once..." I trailed off, looking over at my friends with a shrug.

"Awesome," Harry responded, shutting his book and slinking away from me. "I have free period after lunch. I'll meet you in the library."

"How'd you know what I have next?" 

"I work in the counseling office first period; took advantage of it."

"Of course you did." 

"Yeah well," he shrugged, walking away towards Luke and Calum. "Library. Be there."

"And if I'm not?" I called back, putting my hands on my hips. 

He just grinned at me in response, opening his book up at where he left off and following his two friends towards their own group on the other side of the main quad. I rolled my eyes, glad that he's finally out of my hair. There was no way that I was going to meet up with him in the library. Not when Eleanor also has 5th period free.

—-

"Look, I don't like him either," Eleanor explained as we walked into the library after lunch. "But The Fish is paying me to tutor him in Chem and this is the only time and place we could meet up. It'll at least give you something to do."

Jeremy "The Fish" Fischer was waiting for Eleanor at one of the tables, his chemistry book propped open in front of him. "It's the first day back," I complained again, rolling my eyes at his lame attempt at flirting with El. "What could he possibly need help with?"

"I got to go," she chuckled, walking over to The Fish and sitting with him. My eyes widened as I realized what was going on between them. She is so explaining her self to me later. 

"You're here," I heard Harry say from where he suddenly appeared next to me. 

"I... uh yeah," I sighed, turning to look at him only to find him smirking back at me. "So what did you want to do."

The smirk only grew as he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the back of the library where the reading couches were. "No one comes back here," he explained, placing his bag on the floor and pulling out a worn out notebook; exchanging it with the book he's reading. "You guys have your bench, I have my couch."

"So you just... study here?"

"Usually I read, sometimes I draw. Today I'm writing."

"Writing? Like a story?"

"Nope," he answered popping the 'p.' "I write poetry. Well at least in this notebook; I have another one that I use as a journal, but I keep that one either in my locker or at home. I don't need anyone finding it and reading all about me."

"Uh huh..." I trailed off, joining him on the couch. He smiled at me before writing furiously in his notebook. The two of us sat in silence for the rest of the period, me not really sure if I'm supposed to say something to him while he writes. 

"You never struck me to be the introverted type," Harry chuckled, putting his stuff away after the bell rang. 

"I'm not," I argued, grabbing my bag and going to find Eleanor.

"Oh so is it just me?"

"You wish."

—-

After school Eleanor and Niall begged me to go to Starbucks with them, the pair both wanting to reward me in sticking through a shitty first day back. "Get anything you want," Niall offered, shoving me in front of him. "My treat."

"I'm fine," I chuckled, stepping to the side and letting him and El place their orders. Eleanor ordered for me anyways, dragging me to an open table in the front while Niall paid and waited for our drinks. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Liam and Zayn walk inside, Liam going to wait in line while Zayn sauntered over to me and Eleanor.

"Are these seats taken," Zayn asked gesturing to the table next to ours. 

"Uh, I don't... uh," Eleanor stammered, not taking her eyes off of Zayn; forgetting that she was totally flirting with The Fish earlier today. 

"They're all yours," I chuckled, grabbing my friend's wrist so that she would stop ogling Zayn. 

"What are you doing?" She whispered when Niall came back with our order. 

"Just wait," I answered, taking my drink from Niall. She pouted, subtlety looking over at Zayn who was paying no mind to us. We all secretly watched as Liam returned with their order, quickly pecking Zayn on the lips before sitting down across from him. 

"All the good ones are gay," she sighed, pout deepening as she looked over at me. 

"Hey don't give me that look! You knew I was gay long before I knew it myself."

"Had to end the best relationship I ever had."

"You guys were together for like 3 months," Niall chuckled as he threw his straw paper at Eleanor. "Besides a little Fishie told me about a study date he had in the library today."

Eleanor blushed, avoiding eye contact with us as she drank out of her frappe. Niall and I just chuckled at her, catching her red handed on what's going on between her and The Fish. The bell on the door chimed, and out of complete habit I looked over my shoulder to find Harry walking past us over to where Zayn and Liam were sat. I could tell he saw us because he made sure to sit in the seat closest to me. 

"Louis," he greeted, closing his book but not looking over at me. 

"Harry," I responded, my tone hinting that exchange was now over because I have seen too much of him today alone. In fact I'm pretty sure I reached my quota of him for the rest of the year. 

There was a sudden tension that loomed over both of our groups, but neither of us knew how to break it. 

—-

"I'm not going Niall," I said, hoping my answer was definitive, but of course he didn't listen. I decided last minute that going to a party didn't seem all glamorous. 

"Michael's parties are legendary!" Niall argued, going into my closet and pulling out something for me to 'wear' tonight. "We're going." 

"You can go. Im not." 

"You're the only reason why we got invited. I can't show up without you."

"Niall I don't want to get drunk with a bunch of people I don't care about."

"All the more reason to go."

And even though it didn't make any sense... it also made a lot of sense. "Jesus Christ... fine we're going."

Niall cheered, throwing the clothes on my bed and running out of the room telling me that I have 15 minutes to get ready. I rolled my eyes, throwing on the black Vans t-shirt and skinny jeans, and quickly styling my fringe, keeping it soft and swept to the side. I don't know why Niall wanted me to look as good as I did, but I figured it would be best to ignore it. Besides... this might be my one and only high school party. Live while I'm young and all that. 

—-

As soon as we arrived, Zayn, Ashton, Luke, and Michael's girlfriend— Crystal— pulled us aside to do shots with them. We did 3 rounds, the group teaching us their usual drinking chant. ("Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So why not get wasted and have the time of our life.") 

After the three initial shots, Crystal mixed me a drink that looked radioactive, but I accepted it anyways. "I'm so glad I got to officially meet you," she chuckled, linking my arm with her's as she lead me towards the indoor pool.

"We've literally been in the same math class since 7th grade," I joked before taking a sip of my drink. "Holy shit this is delicious! What is this?"

"A Midori Sour; mine and Michael's go to cocktail when we want to take an easy night." 

"Who said anything about me taking it easy?"

She shot me a friendly grin as we made it to where Michael and Liam were chatting. Liam spotted me first, coming up to give me a hug, Michael opting for a quick nod before pressing a kiss to Crystal's cheek. 

Eventually everyone in the group— sans Harry but including Niall— found their way to where we were. Refills of drinks came as soon as cups were empty, shots were constantly being thrown back, and I was getting to know the group I despised a lot better. They really weren't that bad, but the one that I could not stand no matter what people said about him was still no where to be seen. 

"He's over there; reading," Ashton chuckled, wrapping his arms loosely around my shoulders as he pointed across the pool where Harry was sat on one of the deck chairs engrossed in his book. 

"Not much of a party animal, huh?" I asked, trying to not let Ashton know how affected I got just from seeing Harry.  The guy chuckled, squeezing me close and nuzzling into my hair before letting go and jumping onto Calum's back. 

—-

I may have lost count of how much I had to drink. And I may have lost my phone, Niall, and everyone else. My drunk state couldn't quite place where exactly I was. I knew I was near the indoor pool because of the smell of chlorine, but I definitely wasn't where I was at the start of the night. 

I wandered aimlessly around the pool trying to find someone— anyone— that I recognize. I was loosing my focus, not realizing I bumped into someone until I felt something splash at my feet. 

"What the fuck Tomlinson?!" I looked up, recognizing the voice that belongs to the one and only Jeremy "The Fish" Fischer. 

"My bad," I slurred out, noticing the wet spot that was slowly growing on his shirt. "Guess I didn't see where I was going." 

"You clearly got lost when you stumbled into this party," The Fish shot back, giving me a light shove. I stumbled backwards but now I wasn't going down without a fight. 

"For your information I got invited by Styles himself. So you can fuck off; I bet you're the one who got lost. Who the fuck nicknames themself The Fish?"

He shoved me once more, and I suppose we were standing near the edge of the pool because suddenly everything was wet. I tried to make it back up the the surface but I couldn't tell which was up and which way was down. 

Well. 

Guess I'll see you soon mom. 

—-

It was too bright. That much was certain. 

"Am I dead?" I asked, using my arm to cover my face from the bright light. "Is this heaven?"

"Pretty sure I wouldn't be here if it was heaven," a deep voice chuckled from across the bright room. There was movements and shuffling when the room was suddenly darkened. Harry was stood at the window, letting go of the curtains that he pulled aside. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," I mumbled since there was no point in lying. He walked over to the bedside table, handing me water and some aspirin.  I thanked him as I took it, swallowing the pill and chasing it down with the water. 

"Finish that up, I'm going to get you a Gatorade from downstairs. Any specific flavor?"

"Red please." 

He nodded, slipping out of the room. I took this moment alone to look around the room. There were pictures of Michael and Crystal everywhere so I can assume I was still at his place. I also noticed a few guitars hanging up on the wall. 

"I guess this is his room," I groaned, reaching for one of the pillows and pulling it over my head. Jesus Christ how much did I drink last night? 

"First time drinking?" Harry chuckled as he walked back into the room. 

"Not exactly," I replied coldly, feeling the bed dip as he sat down next to me. "First time was the night my mom died."

"Oh."

"It wasn't this bad though. Jesus Christ, I don't wanna be human today."

"You're allowed to not human today. You need your rest after almost drowning."

I sat straight up at that, raising my eyebrows to gesture at him to continue. 

"Last night you and Jeremy had a little disagreement; I don't know what it was about, and if you remember you don't need to tell me. But what matters is that I saw it happening. I should have acted quicker, but the second I saw you slip into the pool I jumped in after you, pulled you out, gave you CPR, and once you gained consciousness for a second I brought you up here. Haven't left your side except for when I brought you this."

He waved the Gatorade in front of my face, before setting it down next to the glass of water. I stared down at my knees, not wanting to look up at him, too embarrassed to even say something. 

"Well... I uh— I'm gonna go, let you rest and just... let everyone know you're alive... and well, awake."

"Everyone?"

"Just Crystal, Michael, Liam, Zayn, and Niall. Now can you please just... relax? I'll be right back."

He gave my hand a quick squeeze before pressing a kiss to my cheek as I nodded, suddenly feeling like the room grew 200 degrees hotter. I guess Harry really does care about me... but why?

—-

The next Monday at school no one really talked about the party, and I had the suspicion that was Harry's doing. I was the first one at the bench, Niall and Harry walking up at the same time. 

"Hey guys!" I smiled as Harry stood by my side and Niall propped himself up on the back of the bench. 

"Are you feeling okay?" Harry asked, and it was the first time I saw him without his book. He was staring at me so intently, his vivid green eyes holding me in place. 

"Yeah... I'm good."

He brought the back of his hand up to rest against my forehead and cheek, I guess he was checking my temperature even though he has no reason to. 

"I spent all weekend reading about near drowning, wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Harry you said so yourself that I wasn't under for long, I just have a slight cough that's it."

"You should have stayed home."

"Harry."

"Louis."

"Can Niall join in because Niall is very confused," my best friend interjected, shoving himself between us. "What the hell happened between you too? Like it was fucking weird Saturday but this is way worse. It's like you guys are an old married couple now."

My body tensed at his words, not wanting to even tease my brain with the idea of me and Harry being a couple. It just couldn't happen. I could tell Harry was about to respond, and I couldn't have thanked Eleanor enough for showing up at this moment. 

"Nice choice of boyfriend," I snorted as she joined our group. 

"What on earth are you talking about?" she questioned, looking over to where The Fish and his posse were gathered in the mornings. 

"That fucking asshole almost killed me."

"He told me you were drunk off your ass and he went to help you when you fell into the pool."

I snorted at that, shaking my head and began to walk away from the bench. I could hear her and Harry yelling at each other, but at this point it wasn't any of my business. What she does and who she does it with isn't any of my business. 

Especially when it involves The Fish. 

—-

Today I found my self spending my first free period in the art room with Harry, watching him sketch during his art class. The teacher didn't mind since he was the only one in the advance class, but he had to be in general due to numbers. From what I can tell by the two times I've watched Harry draw, and from the few doodles on his notebook covers, he has a very depressing taste. 

"Is it supposed to look like that?" I asked, leaning over him and pointing at the focal point. 

"Look like what?" He asked back, not taking his eyes off of the canvas. 

"You know... all sad."

"All of my sketches inspired by the same thing; if my inspiration is sad then my art is sad. It's how it goes."

"Maybe you should find a new inspiration."

"No thanks, I quite like mine a lot."

"Alright keep drawing depressing shit then."

"Thanks. I will."

I rolled my eyes, about to nuzzle my face into his neck before I stopped myself. Why did I almost do that? 

—-

The final bell rang and I headed over to my car— thankful that Dan trusted me enough with it again— pulling out my keys and unlocking it. I threw my bag in the trunk and hopped into the driver's seat, putting the key into the ignition and letting my mind go blank as I pulled out of the parking spot and away from the school. 

I drove until I got to my desired location. Just out of town there was this dead end road, with an incredible view. I used to come here with my mom all of the time, her volunteering to drive me when I needed to think. 

But she's not here anymore. 

I sighed, looking straight ahead toward the end of the road, where a brick wall with a large sign that reads "Dead End" blocks off the road from the path one can hike to the top of the hill. It was a good 400 feet away from where I was parked. 

"Am I really going to do this?" I whispered to myself, putting the car in drive and lifting my foot off of the break. I was about to hit the gas when my phone began to ring, but I chose to ignore it. I pressed down on the gas, cursing as I sped towards the end of the road. 

I was about 200 feet away when I slammed down on the breaks, resting my forehead against the wheel as I took a deep breath. "Jesus Christ," I gasped out. "Shit what's wrong with me."

I parked the car and killed the engine, falling back against my seat and finally letting my true emotions take over. I let the tears fall as I realized my self destructive thoughts got the best of me; my thoughts that are wanting to find a way out of this mortal life just so I could be reunited with my mom. Before her passing I didn't believe in Life After Death, but now that thought is the only thing that keeps me going. And At the same time, it's the thought that makes me want to end it all. 

"Fuck," I cried, bringing my hands up to hide my face, not that there was anybody around to see me. My phone began to ring again, choosing to ignore it once more I got out of my car and began walking towards the wall. 

I didn't get far when I noticed a vintage car in my peripheral vision, and I knew exactly who drove that specific one. 

"Did you follow me?" I asked Harry as he got out of his car and made his way towards me. 

"Do you have any idea how dangerous that stunt you just pulled is?" He snapped out, avoiding my question all together, the second we were toe to toe. 

"That was the—" I wasn't able to get the rest of that argument out because a pair of lips were assaulting mine. I closed my eyes, kissing him back just as feverish. My hands found themselves at home within this curls, fingers intertwining with each tendril. 

"You're a fucking idiot," Harry whispered as he pulled away, his thumb brushing against my jaw line. Neither of us hesitated to bring our lips together again, him slipping his tongue in which made me weak in the knees. The kiss came to a natural end, he rested his forehead against mine as I brought my hands down to rest on his chest. 

"I haven't been the same person since my mom died," I confessed, looking down trying to avoid eye contact. He pressed a kiss to my hair before pulling me into his arms. 

"I know," was all he said in response.   
Harry let go of me and headed over to my car. He reached in and retrieved my keys and my backpack. "C'mon, I'm taking you home. I'll have someone come for your car, just... come home with me."

I nodded, following him to his car. He opened the passenger side for me, and since I'm allowed to do it now, i pressed my lips to his cheek as thanks. He gave me a soft smile in response before shutting the door and making his way around to the driver's side. He intertwined our fingers after he got the car started, and I couldn't help but stare. 

The whole reason why I came here was to clear my head that he infiltrated and plagued with thoughts of us being like this. 

Harry Styles what the fuck are you doing to me?

—-

Weeks have gone by since that day and I was finding my self at another party. Harry's birthday party. 

I was sat in his lap, one of his hands on my waist, the other holding his book. I watched as he expertly turned the pages with one hand, starting to wonder how much practice he's had. 

"Oh no you don't," someone said from behind us, taking the book out of his hand and replacing it with a drink. "No reading on your birthday."

"It's not my birthday," Harry groaned, looking up at the culprit as he set the drink aside. "Give it back Zayn."

"No."

"Zayn."

"Shut it Styles, or else I'm going to take Louis too."

Harry's arms wrapped around me protectively as he growled— literally growled— at his best friend. Zayn chuckled and I can assume he walked away because Harry was muttering curses under his breath. I tapped his arm, trying to get his attention. 

"Yeah?" He asked, looking over at me. 

"Why do you come to parties if you don't drink or anything?" I asked, resting my head on his shoulder. He let out a deep breath, lifting me off of him and walking the two of us out front onto the porch. I sat on the porch swing as he leaned against one of the support columns, his vibrant green eyes not once looking away from me. 

"I have an older sister," Harry sighed, reaching into his coat pocket to retrieve  his wallet. He pulled out a picture and handed it to me before joining me on the swing, I studied the picture of Harry and his sister. It was from 3 years ago— I could tell by his hair— at her college graduation. "When she was living with us she was everything I wanted to be. Smart, friendly, talented. All of it. A few years ago she found out I've been drinking underaged, and told me that if I ever needed a DD that I shouldn't hesitate to call her. So one night I took her up on that, and she drove all the way across town to pick me up from this party I was at. I was too gone to realize my phone was ringing... so she had to come in and find me. If I didn't need to take a piss at that exact moment my sister would have been—"

I cut him off by pulling him in for a kiss. He doesn't need to say it, and I don't want him to say it. 

"Do you want your birthday present now or later?" I rasped out as I pulled away, hoping this is enough of a distraction for him. 

"Depends on what it is."

I bit my lip, innocently looking up at him. I knew this was enough of a hint for him to realize what I was implying, but it didn't stop me from straddling his thighs as well. He cursed under his breath, lifting me up and quickly making our way inside. 

"No one ever comes into my room," Harry whispered, as he made a beeline for the hallway. "You're going to be the first one in a long time."

—-

"Are you close?" Harry whispered, reassuring hands moving up and down my thighs. I rested my forehead against his as I nodded, trying to focus on getting the angle right. 

"I— I need more," I gasped, wrapping my arms around his naked torso. "Please please please— fuck, Harry."

He gripped my hips and began thrusting into me, speeding up the pace that I set for us. He was filling me up everywhere that I needed, and I couldn't help but moan out loud how good it felt. Harry whispered praises in my ear, left kisses all along the side of my face, and started to give attention to my throbbing cock with one of his large hands. 

"That's it baby. Riding me so good."

"Close... so close. Keep going."

"Me too, just let it go. It's okay, let it all out."

After two slow tugs on my erection I let out my release, moaning as his own kept abusing my prostrate. I moaned Harry's name over and over again, and I guess that was enough to have him spilling inside of the condom. He pulled out of me, removing the condom and tossing it into the trash bin that was next to his bed. I collapsed onto the bed next to him, giggling as he pressed a quick kiss to my nose. 

"I'm gonna be right back," he whispered, reaching for his boxers and t-shirt. 

"Where are you going?" I asked, sitting up as he slipped out of bed. I watched as he pulled on the boxers and the shirt before he stepped outside where the party was still happening. 

Being left here made me think about what happened. Was sleeping with him a smart idea? We aren't even together... we just kiss a lot... and I guess have sex now. Maybe he's going to sleep on the couch or something because he got what he wanted from me. This was all a game to him wasn't it. I knew I should have kept my walls up; I knew I shouldn't have let him see me at my weakest moment— that explains why he followed me. But there is no way I could have been easily manipulated, some of what he has said and done had to have been true... right? 

I tangled my fingers in my hair, trying not to pull it out as I let my thoughts consume me. The tears were free flowing at this point and there was nothing I could do to stop them as my breathing became more rapid. 

Is Harry being genuine or am I just a game to him. If I was just a game why did he save me twice, why couldn't he just let me die? 

"Louis?"  I looked up and saw Harry standing in the doorway of his bedroom, holding what looked like a bottle of water and a plate with a slice of cake on it. "Is everything alright angel?"

"You left... I... I didn't know if—"

"I was going to get you some water. I would have been back sooner if everyone didn't stop me to sing happy birthday.... C'mon let's get you under the covers." 

He set the water and cake down before grabbing the covers from underneath me and pulling them up on top of my body. He slid in behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and held me close. "Is this for real," I managed to get out, wanting to just hear the rejection already. "Us. Me and you."

"Of course it's for real," he whispered, squeezing me closer to him. "I think you underestimate how much I actually like you."

"How much?"

"I have liked you since I was 13, and my feelings for you only grew every single day."

"Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"I thought you were straight! You didn't come out until the end of junior year, so what was I supposed to do?"

I mumbled a quick shut up, turning around in his arms to lay my head against his chest. "So does that mean we're...?"

"Boyfriends?" He finished as he rested his head on top of mine. "Yes. And I hate to break it to you Lou, but I've been considering you my boyfriend since I kissed you that first time."

I snorted at that, cuddling up closer to him, craving the comfort that I felt when I'm near him, smiling as he pressed multiple kisses to my temple. I guess the entire time I thought he was an annoying bitch... he was actually flirting with me, especially this year. God, I can't believe I didn't notice it sooner. Now that I look back I can tell what were desperate attempts to get me to notice and acknowledge him in the way that he wanted. But I let my own judge of character get the best of me.

"Penny for your thoughts," he murmured in my ear, rubbing my back in a soothing way. 

"I treated you like shit," I chuckled, being blunt since there was no point to beat around the bush. "And yet you still stuck it in me."

"I don't think you treated me like shit... I think you would sass me when I deserved it. You really need to stop getting lost in that pretty little head of yours." 

"Can't help it.... everything between us is happening too fast, I need a moment to catch up."

"Shit... we can slow things down if you want."

"We literally had sex like an hour ago.... it's fine. We're fine."

"Just... promise if things begin to get too much you will tell me okay. I don't want a repeat of what happened last month."

"I promise."

Harry hooked one of his fingers under my jaw to get me to look up at him. We held eye contact for a few seconds, before he pressed his lips against mine. "Now c'mon," he whispered as he pulled away, "help me eat this cake."

—-

When Harry dropped me off at home the next day it felt like everything has changed. It wasn't like I came home to a big moving van, or with news that Harry and I were running away together. No everything felt... different. Good different. 

It felt normal. 

I could hear the giggles of my sisters coming from inside, and the second I walked in I could not help the grin that appeared on my face. 

"What's all this?!" I chuckled as the twins tackled me into a hug. There was a pillow fort in the middle of the living room— complete with stuffed animal guards, Fizzy and Dan we carrying mugs of hot chocolate from the kitchen, and Lottie was looking through our DVD collection that we never touch. 

"Hey bud you're just in time," Dan chuckle as he set down the two mugs he had. "I had the day off from work, so we're having a movie marathon. How was the party?"

"It was good."

"Just good?"

"Well... I mean... I kind of.... I don't need to explain myself to you!"

"Louis has a crush!!!" Lottie sung, not looking up from her task. I felt my face heat up, ignoring the look my step-dad was giving me. 

"I think it might be more than a crush Lots," Dan teased, causing me to put my backpack down and march upstairs to my room. 

"I don't need to take this," I chuckled, running upstairs to change into something fresh. When I got back down everyone was huddled up together, and I sat down in between Daisy and Fizzy, wrapping my arms around them. "So what are we watching?"

"This!" Lottie called out, holding up The Princess Bride before putting it in the DVD player. It was going to be a fun day. 

—-

Monday at school I found Harry waiting for me at my locker. He had his book opened but he wasn't reading it. His green eyes were looking up in my direction. 

"Hey," I greeted him with a smile, opening up my locker and pulling out the textbooks I needed for my first two classes. 

"Am I allowed to kiss you?" He asked, not beating around the bush. 

"I'd be pretty disappointed if you didn't."

He smiled, closing his book and sticking it in his back pocket. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he placed his hands on my waist as I pulled him into a deep kiss. We got lost in our own little world when a cough from next to us. I pulled away and he rested his forehead against mine, not breaking eye contact with me. "Hello Luke," he greeted, a slight smirk dancing on his lips. 

"C'mom Harry," Luke chuckled as he grabbed my boyfriend by the arm. "You'll see him in a little bit, we have to—"

"Right," Harry interrupted as he got dragged away. "I'll meet you at the bench."

"Okay," I giggled, accepting the kiss Harry was quick to give me before he left. I shut my locker, ignoring the few stares people were giving me as I went to go meet up with Niall. I spotted him heading for his locker, so I quickly walked up to him, throwing my arms around him. "Niall!" I yelled in his ear, causing him to jump and shove me off of him. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" My best friend complained as he punched me in the arm. 

"There is nothing wrong with me! That was a perfectly normal greeting thank you very much!" 

"Whatever. How was Harry's party?"

"It was good... it was kinda meh... but it was good."

"You had sex with him didn't you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"I've known literally since you came out that this was going to happen," Niall chuckled as we arrived at his locker. "There has always been this tension between you guys."

"Well, I suppose you have a point."

He just smiled at me before putting in his combination and opening up his locker. "Have you seen El yet today?" My friend asked as he pulled out his textbooks and stuffed them in his backpack.

"I haven't, but I wouldn't be surprised if she's still avoiding us."

Ever since the day of our argument we have been seeing Eleanor less and less, the few times we do see her is in between classes, but even then she avoids eye contact and talks to her new friends. I mentally scoffed at the thought of her being friends with Jeremy and all of his shitty friends. I let out a deep sigh as Niall shut his locker and lead us to the bench. The sight of Harry and all of his friends no longer bothering me, in fact I smiled at them all before placing myself in Harry's awaiting arms. 

"Missed you," he mumbled into my hair. 

"You we're gone for like 20 minutes," I chuckled, looking up at him. He got the hint because he quickly placed a kiss to my lips, the both of us ignoring the chorus of our friends cooing. Harry dragged his hands down to my own, interlocking our fingers as he pulled away. "What did you and Luke have to go do?" I asked, looking over at the boy I mentioned who was talking with Ashton and Niall. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he chuckled, pecking my lips again. I rolled my eyes, before easily slipping into conversation with Michael, Crystal, and Zayn. It’s honestly amazing how well Niall and I fit in this group; I honestly thought it would never happen considering how different we seem. 

I shook my head at that; we aren’t different at all. 

—-  
Harry walked me to every single one of my classes today, and he even walked me to my car after school. And after a quick make out session he told me he would see me in a little bit, ignoring all of my questions as he headed across the lot to where his own car was. 

What I wasn’t expecting was for him to show up at my house, and for my sister to let him in.

“Knock knock,” he chuckled from my door way, causing me to look up over at him from where I was laid out on my bed. “Your sister let me in.” He sauntered over to my bed, laying down next to me and wrapping his arms around my waist. 

“Uh... not hating that you’re here... but why are you here?” I chuckled, turning in his arms to face him. 

“What I can’t spend quality time with my boyfriend outside of school?” 

“Mmmm, I’m sure your boyfriend would have liked a heads up so he could warn his family.” 

“Well your boyfriend wants to kiss his boyfriend. Can he do that now?”

“He may.”

Harry cupped my cheek with his hand, bringing our lips together. We both were eager to deepen the kiss, him shoving his tongue into my awaiting mouth. (Okay that’s actually a gross way of putting that... but it’s true.) 

“Hey Boobear! Daisy said you had a friend o— OH! Hello!” Dan called out as he walked into my room without knocking. 

I pulled away from Harry who was trying to hold in his laughter. “Hi Dan,” I groaned, hiding my face in Harry’s chest, completely mortified that my step-dad just walked in on me making out with my boyfriend. 

“I’m Harry,” my boyfriend introduced himself, turning slightly to shake hands with Dan. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Dan. Likewise. Uh, Lou is this the—”

“Get out!” I giggled, grabbing one of my pillows and throwing it at Dan. “God, and don’t call me Boobear!”

My step-dad just chuckled, shutting my door as he walked out of my room, leaving me and Harry in a tense silent. I rolled away from Harry, covering my face with my hands. He cooed at me, removing my hands and pressing kisses all over my face. “He seems nice!” He stated, finally breaking our silence. 

“He’s embarrassing! That was all on purpose, he never calls me that. Ever. It’s only when I have friends over— or boyfriend in this case.”

“Alright I believe you... Boobear.”

“Jesus Christ I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

“No I don’t,” I smiled, pressing a kiss to his jawline. 

—-

Harry stayed for dinner, getting along really well with my family. He even offered to help Félicité with the dishes and promised Daisy and Phoebe that he would play with them. 

“So,” Lottie said, giving me a hip check before joining me from where I was fondly watching Fiz and Harry do the dishes together. “That’s the guy big bro?”

“That’s the guy lil sis,” I admitted, no point in denying it. 

“But is he the guy?”

“I don’t know Lottie... we only just started dating after years of maybe flirting... and we’re only in high school, it’s... I’m too young to think like that.”

“Are you really?”

I stood there, her words on repeat in my head as I watched my sister and my boyfriend play with the suds that filled the sink. Harry looked over at my, sending me a quick wink before putting his attention back on Félicité. Maybe Lottie was right. 

Maybe.... 

I shook my head, pushing my self off of the wall that I was leaning on and heading upstairs to my room. Because the rational thing when overthinking is to be alone and continue letting the thoughts consume my brain. 

I shut the door behind me, sinking to the floor and resting my head between my knees. Harry really is everything that I look for in a guy, and I didn’t realize that until we started to get to know each other, but we’re only 18! We only just started to date! There’s absolutely no way that I can even consider the fact that I might be falling for him. 

It’s too soon. 

We’re too young. 

Are we moving too fast?

Air... I need air. 

I grabbed my keys, before opening my bedroom door and colliding into a strong chest. Arms wrapped around me, and a deep, soothing voice was whispering in my ear. I had no idea what he was saying, but I slumped against him. 

“Let go,” I gasped, trying to slink away... the overwhelming scent of Harry starting to become too much. “I need... I need air.”

“Give me your keys,” he whispered, holding his hand out for them. “I’ll drive, just tell me where to go.”

“The dead end.”

“Alright, let’s go.”

—-

Harry drove us to where we shared our first kiss, parking on the dirt road and getting out of the car to give me some space. I reached into the middle console where I knew my long forgotten lighter and almost full pack of cigarettes sat. I took one out and put in between my teeth before opening the car door and stepping out into the brisk air. I slipped the pack into my jacket pocket before lighting up the one I had. I took a deep inhale of the toxic air, holding it in for a few seconds before letting it out. I spotted Harry sitting on one of the larger rocks, just watching me. Studying me. He gestured for me to come over to him, and I followed, stopping in between his legs. He took the cigarette out of my hand, taking a hit and resting his forehead against mine. I brought my hand up to stroke his cheek with my thumb, and he let out the smoke.

“Why here?” He asked, handing back the cigarette. I took another inhale, bringing our lips together to shotgun the smoke to him. 

“It’s quiet up here,” I sighed, stubbing out the cigarette, suddenly not craving the toxins. “But at the same time it’s so loud. It helps when I need to clear my head. I... My mom was the one who took me here for the first time. This is where we came when she told me about the cancer, and this is where I went after she died... after the funeral. It feels like she’s still here sometimes.”

“Lou...” Harry mumbled, pulling me into his arms. 

“The day... the day we kissed... I wanted to kill my self. And I almost went through with it; but my phone rang. I didn’t check who it was, because I knew... I just knew it was you. You just keep saving me. Over and over again. Sometimes... my thoughts become too much... but you’re always there to make them go away.”

“Why did you want to come here tonight?”

“Because... fuck. Because of you.”

“Me?”

“Shit no... I mean yeah. It was something that Lottie said, about you. It just... became too much for me.”

“Hun... you need to talk to someone. Me, Dan, Niall... a trained professional. Just someone.”

I shook my head, remembering perfectly well what happened at my last therapy session 2 years ago. “Do you promise to always listen?” I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him closer to me. “Cause I over think a lot, and you’re the only one that won’t think I’m crazy.”

“I promise,” he whispered, nuzzling his nose into the crook of my neck. “I promise.”

—-

At school the next day Harry wasn’t at my locker like he was yesterday; not that I was expecting him to be. Niall was there though, and he looked absolutely worried. 

“You need to come with me,” Niall rushed out, grabbing me by my sleeve and dragging me across campus. We ended up outside of the art room, Niall shoving me against the wall next to the open door. 

“Why are—”

Niall pressed his finger to my lips, silencing me before pointing towards the classroom. 

“So you’re backing out?” that was Luke, and I really had no idea why Niall dragged me here. “I mean not that it matters since you won the bet anyways... I don’t know why you kept it going after you fucked him.”

“He opened up to me,” Harry’s voice answered, my eyes starting to water once I put two and two together. “I can’t do this to him anymore; I can’t lead him on like this. He has fucking suicidal thoughts.”

“Is that all this was,” I snapped, shoving Niall off of me and entering the room. “Everything you said, everything you’ve done for me. It was all because of a bet?”

“Louis, I swear that’s—”

“Save it. I don’t want to hear it.”

Harry took a step towards me, and I instantly took a step back. I felt Niall wrapped his arm around my shoulder and guide me out of the classroom. My vision started to get blurry as I let the tears fall freely. “I’m going to drop you off at home,” my best friend whispered, leading me back to my car. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No. I’m glad you did,” I whispered, using the ends of my sleeves to try and wipe my tears away, but they just kept coming. “Who knows how long this would have gone on for, I’m glad it happened now and not later. It would have hurt more I think.”

“Still.... it was nice to see you happy. Even if it was for a little while.”

“It was nice to be happy.”

—-

I haven’t left my room in three weeks. The only human interaction outside of my family was when Niall would come by and drop off my school work. It gave me something to do, it kept my mind busy. Of course that was only a temporary solution, but once it was completed I would just sit and think. It always became too much. 

Dan had to take my keys away again. But I didn’t care this time. I had no where to go; my usual thinking spot now tainted with memories of Harry. 

The sound of someone knocking on my door broke me out of my trance. “Come in,” I whispered, hoping it’s just Niall with my school work. 

“Hey,” the soft voice of Eleanor was enough to get me out of bed, and cry in her arms. “Niall told me about what happened... I think you need to talk to Harry.”

“I don’t want to,” I cried, hiding my face in her shoulder. “I was starting to fall for him... and he broke my heart.” 

“I know he did, and what kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t call him out on his bullshit. He’s as much of a wreck as you are, he literally started crying when I pulled him aside.”

“I don’t believe it.”

“We’re not asking you to.”

“We?”

“Louis,” I looked up and literally froze in my spot. Harry was standing in my door way, and Eleanor was right. He was a wreck. 

“What are you doing here?” I spat, trying to avoid eye contact with him. 

“I’m here to apologize, and to explain myself to you.”

“You have 10 minutes... go.”

“I just want to preface it that this— me and you— was never about the bet. I honestly didn’t want the bet to exist, considering Luke came up with it after the news about your mom started making it’s rounds. He wanted me to take advantage of you in a fragile state of mind... but as I got to know you better I learned that you always aren’t in a proper mindset. That night was when I decided to call of the bet, even though I already won. And I didn’t want the cash when I had you. Everything I have ever said, everything I ever did was true. My intentions in the beginning may not have been pure, but that’s only because the stupid bet was what gave me the courage to talk to you. Please believe me, and please believe me when I say I think I’m starting to fall for you.” 

I took a moment to think about what he said, pulling away from Eleanor and taking a hesitant step towards him. “You cut your hair,” I observed, not quite sure if I’m ready to voice my thoughts. 

“It wasn’t the same if I didn’t have tiny delicate fingers running through my curls. You ruined me Tomlinson, you ruined me for everyone for the rest of my life.” 

I surged forward then, not thinking twice as I pressed my lips against his. “You better take me to prom,” I mumbled into the kiss.

“One day I’ll be able to take you any where you want. Just say the word.”

And even though we had a very rock beginning, I could tell that it was going to be smooth sailing from here.


End file.
